When I was first getting my sea legs steady in the vast sea of online businesses I, like so many others, made some mistakes. From mistakes comes experience and from experience comes wisdom. I was also met with some behavior that caused me to vow never to treat an emerging virtual assistant the same.
I joined various industry forums and networks eventually staying active on a handful as I become comfortable with the community and happenings. There were several VAs who came before me that I looked up to. I admired where they were taking their respective businesses and how they shared their experiences, so openly, on the forums. For a few, I’d place them on pedestals with the placard under reading, “Doing it right – example to others!”
After building up some courage, if you will, I reached out to one in particular to ask her where to learn a specific skill set. I wasn’t asking her to train me nor asking for a handout of information but asking direction to where I could learn about auto-responders and which auto-responder service was one I should focus on – to learn inside and out. I respected her viewpoint. I saw her as a leader in her niche. I did not want to enter this niche [not trying to be a competitor] but wanted to add a skill or two to my offerings and figured it best to learn something that would be sought rather than something that seemed merely interesting.
So I sent my email and got a dampening reply. I was told that she wasn’t looking for a subcontractor nor would I ever take my business anywhere if I didn’t know what to do. Huh? I didn’t have intentions of joining anyone’s team. I simply was asking her opinion to which auto-responder service was a good one. Period. Yeah, her words left an impression.
Fast forward…today I am one of those mentors that others turn to. I’ve been around the various forums and online long enough that I find myself getting the requests for opinions and quick questions. I don’t mind because I’ve been there. Gosh, we each started out probably feeling much of the same even if we were the one in the office who everyone turned to. The one who kept everyone in line. The one who kept the boss from catching his hair on fire. The only difference in being that office rockstar and now is that 1) you’re suddenly working from a new and ever-changing virtual setting and 2) the buck stops with you – all decisions start and stop with you. It’s simply a mind-warp adjustment to thinking (and a little business sense) that needs to take place before that office rockstar is back.
Now I offer mentoring services to virtual assistants who may be emerging into a new virtual business, to those who are experienced but stuck and want to move beyond, to those who desire a brainstorming partner, and to those seeking an accountability partner. I also am a volunteer with IVAA’s (International Virtual Assistant Association) Mentoring Program. My experience those many years ago has colored how I guide and how I share. I’ve become a better listener. I have honed my skills to be sensitive to what’s said and what’s left unsaid – taking both into consideration.
To the VA who didn’t have time before, I say, “Thank you for helping me to be a better mentor to others.”
A good plan to learn from your experiences. It is rewarding and a swift kick occasionally to see a ‘mentee’ expand and grow beyond what I can do for them. I have to run fast to even hope to catch up.
I’ve been in both scenarios you mention. As a newbie, I often heard more experienced VA’s offering help but my experience was that they either didn’t answer at all, said they’d get back to me (and didn’t) or they were either unwilling to answer or didn’t know the answer.
As I became more experienced, others approached me for advice and information. At first, I was more than willing to answer any questions they had. Many were satisfied with an email reply with links to resources for them or a 1/2 hour telephone call for free. There were quite a few who repeatedly came back numerous times for more answers and information – they didn’t want to take the time to research – they wanted instant answers. In those cases, I referred them back to the links I sent and suggested they do the research because we had never discussed a mentor relationship.
And then I gained a reputation for the “go to” person on Social Media in it’s early stages in 2008. Especially from VA’s who were considering that as their niche. I pointed them directly to VA Classroom’s course and all of these girls far surpassed my accomplishments – they excel in Social Media to the point where they have pursued speaking engagements, offered training courses and conducted webinars with high-end clients. So proud of them.
I personally love & respect when my mentor gives me the tough love/push I need and she has helped me instill confidence in myself I never new I had, though I still need to gain some more and still have so much to learn. Be thankful that you learned the “what to do” and “what not to do” from your own experience and whoever you mentee will be forever grateful for your time and everything you have to offer her in any capacity. Maybe one day I can make my mentor proud of me and where I take my business and I truly hope one day I can return the favor of passing on everything I learned from her to another new VA in the future. Being a mentor is an amazing gift for anyone who truly wants the experience and is serious a to why they want a mentor but not just anyone can be a mentor and be effective at! I was and still am very fortunate.
JudyAnn: I totally agree. It’s immensely satisfying to see the other person expand into their plans and goals. Definitely a pride filled moment.
Diane: Taking the easy way out to ask without research (or trying) first is one of my pet peeves. I remember a VA who struggled with pricing her projects. I’d get emails or instant messages asking me how I’d price something. At first, I’d make suggestions but when it seemed that she wanted me to price every project I delayed replying and eventually suggested she figure out her own business.
I don’t think she ever considered that she’s actually going the competition to price her projects. Yes, the VA industry is amazing generous with their support and encouragements but in the end she was adapting a risky business model. I can’t think of the carpet cleaner calling the carpet cleaning business across town to ask how to price something. Goodness, the guy across town could give ridiculous pricing just to see the first guy fail. Has she learned? I don’t think so because I still come across her asking here and there, even after all these years.
Desiree: Thank you for your kind words.