Shedding the Stench of Desperation

You’ve been working for the man for so long that you hardly remember what it’s like to be an independent thinker. But, all of that is about to change, and change BIG. You’ve decided to be your own boss. No more office politics or back-biting. No more wondering if you can have the afternoon off for a doctor’s appointment or to chaperone your child’s class trip. You’re taking the leap. Heck, you’re running for the door and towards a new adventure and the opportunity to show everyone.

Then, some time passes and, well, your business isn’t taking off the way you thought it would. You’ve set up your computer, you’re working on getting a website, you have smokin’ business cards with your picture but where are the clients who need you and your services?

You join a business association and timidly ask how to find clients? The patented answer is, “Network!” Network online and off. Okay, but how? You’ve told your friends, family, and even the cashier at the grocery store. These people at the business association, aka the forum, seem to have it going on. They have clients so where did they find them? And, why won’t they tell you exactly how to get clients . . . even one client . . . a part-time- few-hours-a-month client? You got it. Maybe these colleagues need help. What do they call it? Subcontracting.

Yes, the rates are lower but you NEED a client – any client – the bills are stacking and the cupboards are emptying. You’ve heard there will be a networking chat so you plan to be there and when the moment comes up (or NOT – after all, you need to create opportunities, isn’t that how the cliché goes?) well, you plan to let them know you need a client – any client.

The chatting is happening. Everyone’s casually chatting and the conversation is about juggling the workload. You think, ‘She sounds like she could use help . . . this is my chance.’ So, you jump in with, ‘I need a client. I started my business and haven’t had anyone . . .‘  The silence is thick. The conversation comes to a screeching halt almost as if the smell of a country skunk has crossed in front but it’s not skunk in the air. It’s the stench of desperation. It’s powerful and it’s come on strong. It’s distinctive, unmistakable, and uncomfortable. Once it’s on a person it takes concentrated effort to rid the odor because it lingers and can really suffocate the offender.

There is hope and a solution within grasp. The best way to fumigate the stench is by filling up on Confidence. Confidence is like an aphrodisiac. It draws clients in like a moth to a flame. Confidence comes from knowing yourself, your skills, and your available resources.

Confidence would contact the person privately and directly to say that you heard at the networking chat that she was struggling with . . . .and these are areas that you have experience in. Express that as a favor you’d be happy to lend a hand to help her get back on solid ground, or ask if she is familiar with a certain resource that may be an answer to her specific Achilles heel.

Speaking from this approach demonstrates your knowledge and willingness to put that person first. Of course, you’ll hope you get some work out of it but the focus should be on the other person first, not you. Remember her needs are foremost not that you need, want, must have a client – any client – your first client.  This is a classic rookie mistake but one easily corrected and avoided.

So, shed the stench of desperation, bathe in the cologne of confidence, and bask in the difference a scent makes.